If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around to post it
on Facebook (FB) does it really happen? Given that I’m no longer on FB, this
metaphysical question keeps me up at night. If I’m not on FB, is my life really happening? Philosophers better get back to the drawing board. Humanity is drowning in Narcissus’ reflecting pool and I'm having an existential crisis.
![]() |
You don’t have to be King Tut to build yourself a pyramid.
All you need is a computer and a FaceBook account.
|
The premise of Facebook is nothing new. Cave paintings, hieroglyphs,
diaries, pictographs and film –FB is fulfilling the prehistoric need to show off. But the difference is FB is in real-time
and worldwide. FB is the Big Bang to
man’s vanity. Cue the Kardaishans.
![]() |
I blame Zuckerburg.
|
There are many positives about Facebook. Since FB hijacked the word friend, you
can collect them like Beanie Babies© : i.e., "Look, I have 2,032!" It provides one with a
backseat driver to life (or 2,032 of them), dispensing digital thumbs up
instead of directions. And thanks to the tag option, your most unflattering
photos can now be made public for the world. Let's be honest, the best part about FB is that it’s free admission to cyber-stalk.
The day I read a status update about a ‘friend’ picking
his nose was the day I suspended my account. Ok, that's a fib. But it’s not a stretch. It frightens me that the
desire for public validation has become necessary for even the most mundane,
and personal of moments. Does one really need global applause for clipping
his toenails?
![]() |
Andy Warhol was a psychic genius –
why Dionne Warwick didn’t hire him is a mystery to me.
|
The real reason I’m not on FB anymore is that I’m lazy, and
it’s a full time job ‘liking’ everything posted by my Beanie Baby collection. Maybe
I’m too self-centered to care. But
if FB is part of our collective conscious, my absence from it theoretically makes
me unconscious. I’m like a naked hippie, barefoot in cyberspace and completely
oblivious to the birthdays, anniversaries, engagements, and baby/pet
announcements of everyone I’ve ever met. And it's ok because I'm busy finding myself on blogger. Wait, blogger...am I really here? That's Psychedelic.
?????????????????????????????????