Yoda For President

You know things have taken a turn for the worse when the political dialogue is no longer just about a candidate's underwear*, but about the size of the junk in there.  Our once semi-elevated political discourse has hit the iceberg and it’s going down - quick.  When FDR said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," he wasn't aware just how scary the 2016 Republican debates would be. *(see Romney)

Front and center in last night’s debate was the most crucial issue facing the nation.  Who fits the XXXL condom? Donald or Marco.  Why none of the moderators brought a ruler to settle this dispute is unclear.  Megyn was off her game.  Seriously, someone please inform Trump and Rubio that the term ‘Dick Swinging Contest’ is not to be taken literally.  Unfortunately this circus show was not a surprise.  If there was ever any doubt, it's now been confirmed: The first thing Trump ever 'fired' was his decorum. 

Now I know what happens when oompa-loompas
 leave the Chocolate Factory. Charlie, come get him.

Turns out FOX could've saved a lot of money on a set designer. Petulant children need a playground, not a stage. And why was Kasich the one put in the corner?  Kasich was the lone voice of reason, yet Donald was center ring 80% of the debate.  As predicted, Trump kept the audience in hysterics.  I half expected to see tomatoes fly.  It was insult comedy at it’s best (or worst). I had to turn off the TV and meditate after minute 20. What I should have been doing is praying Ringling Bros. stays in business.  I'm guessing ticket sales are down.

This is the kind of thinking we need in the White House.

Dear FOX, I know Reality TV is ratings gold but this is becoming a little too real.  The news media needs to stop slobbering all over these clowns and not only ask some tough questions, but hold them to the answer.  What is a moderator for, if not to steer the candidate back to the point at hand?  In all seriousness, I think it's time to put Yoda on the ballot.  Technically, he’s an illegal alien.  However, he's succinct, direct and to the point.  The best part is: Yoda probably doesn’t even have a penis. But...I'll bet his lightsaber is bigger than Donald’s.